Today was an inspection day for me. This means I get up very early, drive into Denver (about an hour away) pick up a state vehicle, then drive for four hours out to some very rural part of the state to do a quick inspection of a hog farm. Sometimes there are many farms to look at, dozens. Other times I have just one or two. Today I only had one and nothing weird happened at all unless you count the fact that I actually remember the name of the road where the farm was located. (It’s on Road P. Yes, P. That’s how we do things in Rural Colorado. P is a road. As is Q, R, S, T and when they run out of letters, they just double them up. Like PP.)
So anyway, today was not eventful at all. (No, wait- I take that back. I did see two coyote pups crossing the highway all by themselves and a bum hanging out in the bushes about twenty miles south of Limon on 287. He looked like someone threw his ass out of a car for being insane.)
BUT LAST WEEK I had to go look at two farms and the guy who runs these farms forgot I was coming and said he couldn’t meet me out there because he was “moving cows”. I’m not sure if he was trucking them somewhere, but I pictured cowboys on horses, or at the very least, men on quads. I didn’t ask, so we have to use our imaginations.
So I went out there all by myself. It was quite busy because one of these farms was demolished in a tornado a few months back, so they had a ton of guys out there cleaning crap up. Then there was a very stinky burn pit they had going to burn the debris from the tornado. (These farms had no pigs, they are empty so no pigs were harmed during that tornado.)
BUT, I was heading over to the farm next door that was not hit by the storm and as I flashed by in my piece-of-crap Prius I saw something that looked a little bit like a cow skull standing guard at the office. The gate was locked, no one was there, so I followed the fence until it ended and took my little energy-efficient crap-tastic vehicle off-road to go make sure I saw that correctly.
Sure enough, I came around the office and there it was. A cow head, picked clean as a whistle, sitting on the road next to the office. There were two actually.
Now this is not the weirdest thing I’ve seen, but I come out to these farms twice a year and never have I been greeted by a cow head. I saw a Chupacabra once, running across the highway. I saw an insane antelope booking ass and nothing was chasing it. I barely missing squashing a tortoise sunning himself in the middle of the road and I even picked up a guy who was stranded out on highway 71 a few weeks ago. He’d been sitting there for more than a day. No one much uses that road. I took him back to Limon so he could get a new tire. Poor kid. He said the Sheriff went by and waved at him the night before but never stopped.
So I see a lot of weird shit on my trips. But still. Cow heads.
Anyway, that was my day. I drove for about 12 hours straight today and all I got was a bum and some coyote pups.